no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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