so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
