He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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