Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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