oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
