he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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