WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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