First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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