white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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