And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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