I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
