I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
