this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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