I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This baby is an asshole
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
