so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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