dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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