we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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