Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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