I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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