dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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