The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
