great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
