Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
