I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
