I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
