I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize