Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
