And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize