Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
