i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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