I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize