she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
