She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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