What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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