let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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