I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
