You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
