Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm jealous of your bromance
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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