that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
