I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
