do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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