PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
