Where did you get a picture of my penis
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize