i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
