I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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