her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
