im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
