So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
