I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize