Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
