Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
