well I can't set my house on fire every night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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