You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
