The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
