The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
