I don't usually arrange sex via text message
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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