just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
