I'm lost and stupid without you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
